It's always been you
by Dora-Pond
Summary: I suck a summaries, so I don't try much. I just tell you this is a fanfiction about my favorite Harry Potter couple, Remus and Tonks.
1. Sirius faked pout

Basically the story of Nymphadora Tonks... In my way. Twists, and change of plot, all that. You better prepare for something ssoooo weird :D

"Love is a game two can play and both win."  
-Eva Gabor

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."  
-Lao Tzu

1. Sirius faked pout

"Dora! Your cousin's here!" her mother yelled from behind her door.  
"OK mom, he can come in!" Dora answered. And soon her door opened, this 6-year-old's favorite cousin walking in - with another 19-year-old boy.  
"Sorry Dora, I have no time to stay for long, I need to go see Prongs - you remember James, don't you?" Sirius asked, smiling happily at Dora's confused expression, as she looked at the stranger.  
"Yeah, I do remember Jamie..." Sirius chuckled at the nickname Dora had given to his best mate. "But you were gonna 'babysit' me, as mom and dad says I can't be left alone!" Dora's slightly disappointed tone made Sirius' smile fade.  
"I'm reeaally sorry, Dora, but I just have to go. And that's why Remus is here!" Sirius beamed, and the other guy stepped forward. "You have seen him before. You were just so little, you can't remember. And don't worry, I'll be back before your parents."  
"Ok then... Do you have to go right now?"  
"I'm afraid I do", Sirius answered. "But hey, have a nice day with Remus, yo baby cousin!" He turned at her door to give her a slight wink. She waved at him. Then the door was closed behind little Dora's favorite cousin, and she was left with this Remus guy.  
"You're his friend, now, aren't you?" Dora asked him, frowning. Remus thought he knew someone else who talked like that, but couldn't quite catch up, who.  
"Yeah. And you're his cousin, now, aren't you?" he mocked her with a slight smile.  
"Yeah. Your name's Remus, now, isn't it?" she giggled.  
"Yeah. People call you Dora, now, don't they?" They continued like that a while, until Dora didn't answer his question, but just cocked her head to the side and smiled at him.  
"I like you. You're not like Jamie-Pamie", she laughed. "You're funny. He didn't like me."  
"Now, young lady, I like you too", he said, smiling back at her, sitting next to her on her bed. Dora straightened her head and frowned.  
"What's wrong?" Remus asked. Dora looked at him.  
"You know what? I'm actually a bit hungry", she said. "And tired."  
"Well, let's go get you something to eat, and then you can go to bed, right?"  
"I'm not sleepy. Just tired", Dora corrected. "I've played wizard's chess with dad, wanna try against me?"  
"Sure! But first things first, come on now". Remus smiled at her. She jumped up and let him go first. Unfortunately, she tripped on his dad's broomstick when she walked through the living room.  
"Ouch!" she yelped, as she fell to the floor, her hair changing color to light brown instead of bubblegum pink.  
"Are you all right, Dora?" Remus asked, turning to help her up.  
"Yeah. My ankle hurts a bit, but it's OK. I'm used to this. I thought Sirius warned you imma bit clumsy", Dora babbled. "Specially when dad leaves his broomstick laying about like this..." She turned around to face the broomstick, and scolded it for laying on the floor.  
"Yeah, it happens", Remus chuckled at her furious talk at the broomstick. "Dora, you know it can't hear you, now, don't you?"  
"Of course it hears me!" Dora disagreed, turning back to look at Remus. Then she grinned, with a face that told she was winning this. "Different thing is, that it doesn't understand! Or do you, you big fat broomstick?" She kicked the broomstick lightly, and as a reply, it rolled on the floor a little, further away from Dora. "See, Remus?"  
"Hey, don't talk like that! if it hears you, it might get hurt! Remus winked at her, turning around and walking to the kitchen. He had been in this house many times with Sirius, even alone as a housekeeper when the Tonks' were away. But now, the case was different. Usually there was not a little girl tripping over things, talking, laughing, running, even crying a bit, and, above all, being so damn adorable all the time.  
After Dora and Remus had played three rounds of wizard's chess(Dora won two of them), talked about thing(like names, and Dora found out his middle name was John, and started calling him Johnny) she was sitting on the couch, a frown on her little forehead, thinking.  
"Now, I'm gonna get worried if you're not telling what is so serious?" Remus sat down next to her after he cleaned up all the mess that the wizard's chess has put up in the living room.  
"I haven't told mom. Or dad. Only Sirius knows. If mom gets angry...?" Dora muttered quietly.  
"Haven't told what?" Remus asked.  
"That I can do this", Dora looked up at Remus with wide eyes. Remus heard a crashing noise, and turned to look what was it. The wizard's chess board lied on the floor, broken pieces all around it. Before Remus could make a sound, the board and all the pieces rose hanging in the air and it repaired itself, settling then back down at the table.  
"I made it by mistake when I played with Sirius, and won for the first time - genuinely, I mean. When nobody let me win", Dora explained. "And, oh! You just gotta see what else I can do! Come on, now, Johnny!" She jumped up and ran to the entry, putting on her boots. Remus walked after her and put on his shoes, too. Dora dragged him to the backyard. It had one pair of swings, flowery hedge and a summerhouse. Dora ran to the swing, and with one hard kick, she put up a fast speed.  
"See, and that's not all!" Dora exclaimed. She jumped. Remus exclaimed, worried she might fall down and hurt herself.  
"Don't worry", her laughing voice said. She sort of slowed in the air, flying through the air. She even changed course, and then landed -very uncharacteristically to her- on her feet right in front of him.  
"See? Sirius said this isn't usual for my age. I can do many things other six years olds couldn't do. And I'm so very worried", Dora said, looking concerned. Remus crouched down to get to eye level with her. He looked her in the eyes, and she looked back.  
"Dora, this is nothing to worry about. You're just more powerful than others. But please, for your own sake, try to control it as best as you can", he stated.  
"You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were my lost brother", Dora smiled, wrapping her short arms tightly around his neck. He smiled, getting up and keeping her in his arms.  
"Yeah, my little sister", he whispered in her hair.  
"Remus? Dora? Where are you?" Sirius yelled from the entry.  
"Backyard!" Dora screamed at him. Sirius ran out to see Remus put Dora back down.  
"Dora, everything OK? Was Remus a good babysitter? Had fun?" Sirius asked, hugging Dora quickly.  
"Yes! He's... He's like a brother. Only bad thing that happened was when I tripped over daddy's broomstick. But it's OK. Oh, and Sirius!" Dora exclaimed at the end, looking up at her cousin.  
"Oh no... you showed him, now, didn't you?" Of course! It was Sirius who always spoke like that! Remus rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. Sirius and Dora were cousins and Sirius was so much older, of course Dora would talk bit like him!  
"Of course I did! Mom doesn't know, or dad, though", Dora shrugged.  
"It's not bad thing! Just try and control it, Dora", Sirius sighed.  
"Johnny's definitely nicer than you", Dora huffed.  
"Johnny? A new nickname?" Sirius turned to Remus, now grinning.  
"Obviously", Remus shrugged, grinning too.  
"OK, Dora, d'you want him to keep company to you since now on, instead of me?" Sirius asked. Dora nodded.  
"No offense, though, Sirius, you're still my best cuzin!" Dora winked.  
"None taken. Well, some kind of is, he replaced me as your personal babysitter!" Sirius faked pout.


	2. Sirius is in Azkaban

**I'm so sorry it took this long to post a new chapter!**

**I will post the next one faster(maybe). Please review ;3 I'd love to get comments**

2. Sirius is in Azkaban

"Sirius", Dora started, looking down. "Uhm.. I have to ask you something."

"Sure", he said back. 7-year-old grabbed Sirius' hand and pulled him to the backyard.

"Dora! Dora, what's going on?" Sirius yelped. Dora pulled him to sit on a wooden, comfortable, couch-like bench. Then she sat next to him.

"Where's Johnny?" Dora bit her lip.

"You mean Remus?" Sirius asked, chuckling.

"Johnny", Dora said, determined he's name was Johnny.

"Well, _Johnny_ is at his home. Why?" Sirius asked.

"When is he coming?" Dora asked.

"When needed", Sirius said.

"Good! He's needed now!" Dora exclaimed. Sirius chuckled again.

"Okay okay. I'll give him the message", Sirius rolled his eyes, smiling at his cousin. He stood up and started walking towards the house, but a tall and scarred figure stopped him, grinning slightly.

"Don't need to. I'm right here. Ted talked to me through the Floo network, telling me Dora needed her babysitter. So here I am. What's the matter?" As soon as Remus had said this, Dora jumped up to her feet and ran straight to his awaiting arms.

"Johnny! Brother!" she yelped as he picked her up. "Johnny, I missed you!"

"Hello Dora. I missed you too", Remus said, hugging her tiny figure close to himself.

"Uhm... I'm right here... Guess I just don't care, then...", Sirius coughed.

"I know", Dora piped up, not even rising her head from Remus' shoulder. Both Remus and Sirius started laughing at this. "What? What's so funny?"

"Nothing", Remus answered.

"I know!" Dora's faced lit up and she whispered something in Remus' ear. "And that would be fun, wouldn't it?" she said then out loud, grinning.

"Oh yes. But not now", Remus said, winking at her, so she'd understand he didn't mean it.

"Awww, you're so boring", Dora complained as he put her down. She turned to Sirius. "Let's go to the lake. He's so boring."

"Okay, but you'll be extra careful so nothing bad happens", Sirius warned.

"Please can I come with?" Remus asked Dora. She seemed to think for long.

"Okay, fine", she said finally.

"Such a diva, she is", Remus grinned at Sirius behind Dora's back as she started walking towards the forest and the lake. Remus and Sirius started walking after her.

At the lake Dora sat down. She looked at the water, and threw there a tiny stone.

"I started doing this when I was four", she said, throwing in another. Sirius and Remus sat on her both sides. "Dad took me here and I could sit right on this spot throwing stones for an hour. Dad always said he thought something was wrong. He didn't know something was. I always came here to do this when I was angry or sad. Dad never knew." She threw in more stones and sighed. "I guess it became a habit." Sirius and Remus neither knew what to say. Dora sighed.

"Uhm... I'm just wondering... What could upset a four-year-old?" Sirius asked.

"Muggle-neighbours. They bullied me, because I've got different hair color. And I'm different in many other ways. They're five years older than me, and they're mean", Dora said. "Later I learned to defend myself. But weird things happen. It has always something to do with flying or transfigurating."

"Might be because you're a metamorphmagus. Now that you're still under eight years old, magic shows itself in weird ways. It starts making more sense when you go to school", Remus said.

"Yeah, mom told me", Dora said simply. Suddenly she launched herself at Sirius' side. They were sitting on a rock right above the lake's surface, so Sirius fell to the lake. Remus and Dora started laughing at him as he stood up.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"I felt like doing so", Dora giggled. Sirius grinned, picked her up and placed her in the water, too.

"Ahhh! It's cold!" she screamed. "Or not so." She splashed the water at Sirius. Sirius splashed back.

"Johnny, come on!" Dora laughed, splashing some water at Remus, too.

"This is a war", he said, also jumping in the water. They didn't care their clothes were soaking wet(you could always dry them with easy spells) or that some people would call Sirius and Remus ridiculous for water-fighting in a lake with a seven-year-old. They had so much fun.

"Oh dear, what happened to you?" Andromeda called as the three walked back to the house, still soaking wet.

"We were in the forest, mom!" Dora squealed.

"You're soaking wet!" Andromeda protested.

"We were in the lake!" Sirius exclaimed, grinning like a crazy.

"But you said you were in the forest", Andromeda looked at the three with puzzled expression.

"So was the lake", Remus said.

"Momma, you never go to the lake?" Dora disappointed.

"No, I don't prefer wandering in the forest. Now, Sirius, Remus, use your wands for something useful", Andromeda half-smiled before walking back to Ted.

A year passed in a happy mood, but one day Remus and Sirius knocked to Tonks' family's door, both looking devastated.

"Oh, hey, guys! What's wrong?" Andromeda asked as she let them in. Dora stopped drawing and walked to them.

"We have both good and devastating news", Sirius started, slumping onto an armchair.

"Voldemort's gone. Not conclusively, but gone", Remus said. Dora looked up at him and smiled, but her smiled faded as she saw the pained look on his face.

"And the bad ones?" Ted asked.

"Lily and James are dead", Sirius croaked.

"Is Jamie-Pamie gone? And Lils?" Dora asked, tears in her eyes.

"Yes", Remus' voice was barely a whisper as he pulled Dora into a hug. She cried on his shoulder.

"Merlin's beard... No.." Ted choked.

"They had a son, didn't they? Harry?" Andromeda asked.

"Harry's alive", Remus said. "But James and Lily are not."

"Oh my..."

Days passed again. Remus and Sirius didn't visit; they needed space missing James and Lily.

But one day, Remus came.

"This is really bad news", he said as he walked to the living room.

"What is it?" Andromeda asked.

"It was Sirius", Remus said, somewhere in-between furious and devastated. "He killed them."

"What?"

"Sirius is in Azkaban."


	3. He didn't forget her(and Happy BIRTHDAY)

**This one is dedicated one. I hardly dedicate my chappies, but one of my good friends has his birthday today! Happy birthday! I didn't get him(or you if you're reading this) a present, but I worked hard on this. And the later chappies. And I let him decide a few things that'll happen in this story in the future, so that's kinda my present to him. OK enough is enough, here's the chapter:**

3. He didn't forget her

Sirius didn't know how right he'd been, when he said Remus would babysit Dora instead of him. Two years later he got sent to Azkaban. Dark times, those, but the Tonks' family didn't talk about it. Not much. Sometimes Sirius' favorite cousin would sigh and say -more to herself than anybody else- "I wish he was here". And if somebody heard her, they knew she was talking about her dear cousin, Sirius Black. Dora couldn't believe Sirius had betrayed Lily and James. But she had to.

But all that was far behind. Six years, actually. The little girl, Dora, was gone. Young rebel, older version of her, Tonks, was there instead of her. She didn't want to be called Dora, she preferred Tonks. The old name of hers was gone. She lost it as she started in Hogwarts. Nobody(except her parents, but that didn't count) called her anything else but Tonks. Last one had been Remus, but as he didn't visit(he didn't need to, now that Tonks was at Hogwarts most of the time), she didn't want to be called Dora. It all reminded her of her "older brother Johnny", her favorite babysitter. And Sirius.

Her mom asked many times what was wrong with her, when she fell into apathy in the summer break she spent at home. She didn't want to be home, when everything in there reminded her of him. Johnny. Her bed; they always sat on it, talking things through, Tonks showing him new things she could do without wand. The swings; she loved swinging, and usually he sat on the next swing, watching her new jumps and always longer time she spent frozen in the air. The kitchen; how many times did Remus make her stop running around to have a snack? She couldn't count. The old wooden, comfortable, couch-like bench in the backyard; how many times did she fall asleep there, next to him, just to wake up under his cloak? She couldn't even name all the things that brought him back to her mind. Every summer she came back home, and when the first single thing reminded her of him, her hair changed color to the muddy brown, if it hadn't already changed.

But, stubborn as she was, she didn't write to him. "It's not my job to try to get him back; he left me alone!" she thought to herself.

"Dora! You can't spend your whole life thinking of him! He will not come back! He has nothing to do in here! You are in no need of babysitting! For Merlin's sake, you are sixteen! He is... Twenty-nine! Stop whining after him!" Andromeda Tonks scolded her daughter.

"Mom! How can you _possibly_ say that? I thought you understood! That you realized I can't be okay without knowing he's okay!" Tonks cried furiously at her mother. They fought alot these summery days Tonks spent at home. She saw alot of her friend Bill Weasley in order to keep her thoughts away from Remus. Bill was three years older.

"I'm your mother! I care about your health! And right now, darling, I'd think it would be much healthier for you to be at Weasley's for some time! You'd have William and Charlie", Andromeda sighed, and hurried to send a letter to Molly Weasley.

Summer with the Weasley's would help, Tonks thought. Specially if Bill was there. Tonks and Bill were together. She was so happy to be his girlfriend, but they didn't see much. So Tonks looked up at seeing him.

Few days later, Tonks had packed up some of her stuff and now stood in front of her door. Arthur Weasley had promised he'd pick her up when he came from work. And not too late, he apparated to their yard.

"So, you are Dora Tonks, aren't you?" he asked, walking a little bit closer, friendly smile on his lips.

"Yeah, that's me. Please, say Tonks. Everybody does", Tonks smiled nervously back. How many times had she seen Remus apparate to the front yard? Tonks forced herself to smile wider when Arthur walked to her side.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Just a sec", Tonks said, turning to the house. She arranged things quickly in her head, and screamed then as loud as she could: "Momma I'm leaving with mr. Weasley!"

"Bye", her mother's muffled voice came from upstairs. Mr. Weasley chuckled lightly, and offered his arm for Tonks to take. She did it, and they disapparated.

"Daddy's back, Ginny, look!" a voice said. Soon Tonks saw it was Fred or George - she wasn't sure which one of the twins. And their 8-year-old sister Ginny.

"He's with Tonks!" the other twin said. Ginny ran to Tonks and mr. Weasley.

"Hey Ginny", Tonks smiled slightly.

"Hi Tonks. Bill's upstairs, Charlie is eating. He's such a pig. And so's Ron. I've missed you", Ginny said. The twins waved Tonks to come closer, and so she did.

"Hi Tonks", they said.

"Hi Fred, George", Tonks answered, incapable of saying which one was Fred and which one was George. Then she saw something black-and-white coming towards them.

"Okay, what the hell is a badger doing here?" Tonks started laughing.

"We want to keep it as our pet, but mom and dad aren't so keen on this idea", Fred said.

"But isn't it sweet?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah, it is", Tonks agreed.

"Tonks! You're here!" Bill's voice yelped. tonks lifted her chin up and saw his face in a window, smiling down at her.

"Hi Bill!" Tonks smiled. She decided to try and forget Remus for the time she spent with the Weasley's.

"Come up here", Bill asked her. She smiled, looked back down and rolled her eyes. And so Tonks started making their way up to Bill's room.

The journey stopped right in the kitchen, though. Charlie had just gotten up and now saw Tonks who walked in with the twins.

"Tonks!" he beamed and ran to her.

"Hi Charlie!" Tonks laughed as Charlie hugged her and swung her around. "I missed you!"

"I missed you, too!" Charlie smiled as he put her down. "You OK?"

"I'm fine", Tonks grinned. "Better now that I'm here." But she couldn't lie to Charlie. He saw Tonks wasn't alright. And he knew exactly why.

"Is it him? Still haven't seen him?" he asked, frowning a little.

"Yeah... But I guess he's not coming back so I just gotta forget about him", she tried to throw it away.

"Codswallop!" he yelped. "Bollocks, that one, and you know it."

"I cannot be sure! It's been years! He hasn't even sent me a letter!" she cries out.

"Tonks... I know this for sure. I've seen him."

_I and dad were wandering out in the woods. It was the morning after the full moon. Suddenly we heard some trees cracking, and walked to see what was the noise. We saw Remus sitting on a trunk. He was muttering something._

_ "How could I... She hates me... Worst mistake of my life..."_

_ "Hi Remus", dad cocked his eyebrow and Remus startled. They had met at the ministry, and now knew each other. I knew him too. And I knew about his lycanthropy, too._

_ "Hi Arthur", he answered weakly. "Hi Charlie."_

_ "Remus, what are you doing here?" I asked._

_ "I searched for a safe place for full moon", he said._

_ "What were you muttering? Who hates you?" dad asked._

_ "You know Andromeda and Ted Tonks, don't you Arthur?" he asked._

_ "Yeah..." dad answered confusedly._

_ "It's their daughter. We are... kinda good friends. Or I mean, we were. I was sort of her babysitter. But then she went to Hogwarts. And I left her. And now she hates me for not seeing her. It's something I can't stop thinking about, though it's been six years", he said, pain obvious in his voice._

_ "Tonks?" I asked. "My best friend?" I turned to dad. "Bill's girlfriend?"_

_ "Yeah, I guess we're talking about the same girl", he said._

_ "Damn it, Remus, she doesn't hate you! She cries over you! She misses you! Get a grip and go see her!" I said._

"That's... That's what he said?" Tonks shocked. "I... I thought... But you told him I'm Bill's girlfriend", she added blushing fiercely.

"Yeah, you thought. But he misses you like a maniac!" Charlie exclaimed. Then she looked at her mischievously. "Oh yeah I did."

"Charlie! I expect better language from you!" mrs. Weasley shrieked from the living room. "Don't call him a maniac!"

"But mom! Tonks' here!" Charlie tried.

"It doesn't give you a right to call him a maniac- Oh Tonks, dear! How are you?" mrs. Weasley started scolding her son, but then turned to smiled at Tonks.

"I... I'm fine I guess", Tonks managed to say. Mrs. Weasley looked at her properly.

"You're a bit peaky. I'll make lunch, go talk to Bill, he's waiting for you", she then smiled.

"He still lives here?" Tonks widened her eyes.

"Yeah. But all his stuff isn't here anymore, he's finally moving. And he's missed you", mrs. Weasley said. Tonks started climbing up the stairs. In front of Bill's room, she took a deep breath and knocked.

"Bill, it's me", she said. The door opened, and she walked in.

"Hi Tonks", he said pecking her lips. "How's goin'?"

"Hey Bill. Imma bit shocked", Tonks admitted, sitting down on his bed.

"Why? What's goin' on?" Bill asked, sitting next to her.

"Remus didn't forget me."


	4. Ron was like that

**I'M SO SO SO SO SO SORRY! I had a bad internet for long, and I forgot and I had no inspiration and I kept you waiting if there's anybody reading anymore... Anyway, I love you all who still keep reading and PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! It means so much to me 33**

4. Ron was like that

"Well, you were badly wrong if you thought he would", Bill stated. "He misses you. Alot. He hasn't seen you in six years."

"Well I haven't seen him either, so it's just as bad for me", Tonks sighed. "That bloody stubborn doesn't think I can miss, too." Tonks looked out of the window, and then sighed again. Bill wrapped his arm around Tonks' shoulders and pulled her lean onto him.

"I know you do. He's always been stubborn. First he thought he shouldn't be close to us. He said he's too dangerous", Bill shook his head.

"Yeah, he told that to my parents too. He was my babysitter for... what? Two years?" Tonks smiled. "And I missed him when he was one day gone. Now he thinks I forgot him when he was gone for six years? I couldn't go home without crying my eyes out."

"Why not?" Bill asked.

"Everything there... Was like a living reminder of him... Everything. He even forgot one of his cloaks to me. I always fell asleep, and he covered me in his cloak", Tonks smiled slightly. "I couldn't be there without crying."

"That's so wrong, it's your home", Bill frowned.

"It'll always be the best and the worst place in the world. The place I first met him, the place I live in, and the place I last saw him." Bill couldn't help but think that the way Tonks talked about Remus, was like she was in love with him. The best place in the world for her was where she first met him. Bill felt a little jealous.

"And, of course, my second very best place I know in the whole world is Hogwarts. I met you", Tonks smiled.

"I love you Tonks", Bill smiled at her, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you too", Tonks said, hugging him tight.

"Arthur! Ginny! Bill! Tonks! Charlie! Percy! Fred! George! Ron! Come on, now! Lunch's ready!" Mrs. Weasley yelled.

"Let's go", Bill said, standing up. Tonks stood up too, taking his hand. They walked three flights of stairs and entered the kitchen.

"Oooooh, Bill's girlfriend is here!" Ron and Percy howled.

"Didn't you see her coming? Blinds", Fred shook his head.

"Or hear her? Deafs", George shook his head too.

"Stop it already", Percy rolled his eyes. "I wasn't here."

"Bad Percy", Charlie laughed, ruffling Percy's hair as he walked past him.

"Get off my hair!" Percy complained. Ron and Ginny had started a fight, Fred and George were whispering to each other, obviously planning tricks, Percy and Charlie slapped each other and right then Molly walked back into the kitchen.

"Stop it! Right NOW!" Molly screamed. And all of them froze. Percy's hand stopped in the air just as he was slapping Charlie's arm, Ginny turned to look at her mother, and stopped the kick she was aiming at Ron, who laid on the ground, obviously trying to hit Ginny and Fred and George went quiet and turned to look at Molly, too. Bill started laughing at this.

"Unbelievable! I leave you alone for a moment, a moment, and when I come back..." Molly muttered as she went to help Ron up. "Sit down, all of you." And the eight of them sat quickly around the table. Arthur came from the door, sitting to the end of the table.

"So you started a fight again?" Arthur looked at Ron and Ginny. They nodded. Tonks and Bill hid their laughters, it was so Ron-and-Ginnyish to just nod after fighting, admitting "yes we fought daddy".

"You guys are unbelievable", Tonks sighed, laughing at the same time.

"Believe me, Bill and Charlie were just the same when they were younger", mr Weasley said to her.

"Mom, the badger's in the garden again!" Ginny's sudden laugh drew everyone's attention.

"Why does it keep coming back?" Molly huffed, marching to the window. "But there it is, day after day", she sighed.

Days passed, and Tonks realised that the badger came back everyday. It was always there. Of course the children wanted to keep it, it was already responding to some orders. Ginny and the twins taught it to respond to more and more, of course behind their mom's back.

One day the Hogwarts letters arrived.

"Oh damn, now I just realized that this is my last year in Hogwarts!" Tonks bit her lip.

"I heard that good old Slughorn has retired", Bill said. "And there's a much younger Potions teacher now. Around thirty years old."

"That'll be interesting", Tonks grinned. "D'you know who?"

"No... His name started with S... I think."

"Well, I, Percy and the twins will see. Oh! Fred and George really start at Hogwarts! This is so surreal! And someone please take the badger off my letters", Tonks sighed as she saw the badger stealing her letters.

"Get off", Ginny ordered sternly. "Now." And the badger did.

"How cool is that?" Tonks laughed. "You have a trained badger!"

"We're so cool", Fred and George grinned.

"Oh and Ginny!" Fred said suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"Take care of him while we're gone", George said.

"Wouldn't count on Ron with this", Fred grinned.

"Don't let mom know", George said.

"Or we'll be _dead_", both of the twins said.

"S'clear", Ginny shrugged.

"How old is she again...?" Tonks asked.

"Eight, why?" George asked.

"Seems like ten", Tonks said. "At least."

"And Ron seems five", Fred snorted. "Tell him something mom shouldn't know and he waddles away to tell her..."

"Waddle waddle waddle", George cleared.

"Though we tell him not to tell mom", Fred sighed. Of course Ron would be like that.


	5. I don't think I will

**SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG PLEEAASE FORGIVE ME PLEASE FORGIV ME :3**

**Sorry for the stupid skip, but I have no inspiration for this. I skip a whole year, and I'm so so so sorry!**

The evening Tonks remembered Sirius and Remus started off in a bad mood.

"This feels just weird", Tonks said, laughing.

"Nymphadora!" Andromeda sighed as she put down the newspaper. "We've been now sitting on this table for ten minutes, and I swear that was at least 100th time you said it!"

"It's not my fault it feels weird to not to be in Hogwarts!" Tonks exclaimed, getting up. "Ugh, I go out."

"Don't go far", Andromeda said warningly. Tonks had a bad habit of sleeping outside the house, and Andromeda was always worried of her daughter.

"No... Just to the lake, mom..." Tonks rolled her eyes as she walked outside, jogging outside to the forest. For her surprise, the weather was quite nice. Not raining, not too cold, not even much wind. It was already pretty dark, though.

She sat down by the lake and stared down at the water. It had been many years since she last was here. What - eleven years? Yes, eleven years. She was with Remus and Sirius. Both of the names felt really bad. Sirius was in Azkaban, and Remus was... God-knows-where.

And then she noticed the stone. She wouldn't have noticed it otherwise, but something inside her told her to look down at the certain spot underwater.

Tonks stood up, kicked off her shoes and jumped down to the water. It was colder than she thought, and she also thought she'd jump away and never come back, but something drew her to pick up the tiny stone. It looked like a rather misshapen heart. She jumped back up form the water and started examining the stone. Why did she pick it up? Was there any reason?

**RJL NDAT SOB**

The letters made Tonks tremble. R J L... S O B... The initials. Why were they craved in the stone? More importantly, who had craved them? And then, in a flash, she remembered. She didn't actually want to remember, but the whole situation came back to her mind in one flash.

"Remus, what are you doing?" Sirius asked curiously, watching Remus.

"Wait.." he had mumbled incoherently.

"He's mad, is he?" little Dora asked innocently. Sirius laughed loudly.

"No, he's not. He's just a bit... weird."

"Ha!" Remus exclaimed, straightening his back. "Look at this!" Dora took the small object in her little hand. It was a funny-shaped stone, with all of theirs initials on it.

"Wow!" she exclaimed.

"Throw it in the water", Sirius suggested.

"Why?" Dora frowned.

"So that someone will find it later", Remus said. And so she did. More likely, she dropped it.

The stone hadn't moved. It was still there. Still in the bottom of the lake.

"So that someone will find it later", Tonks whispered, tears in her eyes. "Did he know it'd be me?" She got up, shouting the question to the sky: "DID HE FUCKING KNOW IT'D BE ME? DID HE?!"

Well, as she -very surprisingly- didn't get an answer from the cloudy sky and the few birds flying in it, she fell down to the ground, breaking down, tears flowing out of her eyes like mini waterfalls.

She had lost it all so long ago. Why, _why_ did it all come back now? Why didn't she just forget it, like other people would? She had lost the both people that meant so much to her. And Bill. Bill had also meant the world to her. She had now only her parents. But she wanted back to the days she had Bill, Sirius and Remus, too.

"Why did you leave me?" she whispered. "Come on... This isn't fair... I lost you..." She looked back up at the sky, and noticed it was already dark, and the moon was in the sky. Thank god it wasn't a full one. It would've been a nightmare, too much for her to bear.

Soon she fell asleep by the lake. A tall, hooded, figure kneeled down beside her and whispered two words:

"I'm sorry..."

Something was wrong. Tonks noticed it immediately as she woke up. It took her a second to notice what; She was wrapped in a cloak. She bolted up, breathing heavily, and saw a tall figure sitting by a close tree. The figure was wide awake and staring at her sadly.

This must be a dream... Tonks thought. He couldn't be there. It was just impossible.

"You're awake." It was not a question. He just said it.

"No, I'm definitely not awake", Tonks denied. "I can't be. You're just haunting me in another nightmare or dream. Leave me be."

"This is not a nightmare nor a dream. I'm really here", he said, with a painful, sad, weak smile.

"Prove me, Remus." Her words were cold and sharp. "Prove me you're not a ghost or a memory or anything. Prove me you're real."

"Come here", he asked. She got up and walked to him slowly, then kneeled in front of him. "See?" He touched her face gently. "I'm real. You're real. This is real." Finally she was sure of it. She broke into tears. She wanted to hug him, she wanted to make up for the lost time, but instead she glared at him, stood up, pulled up her hand and slapped him hard in the face.

"You idiot!" she shrieked. He fell on his back, looking frightened. He stared up at her as she screamed at him. "You left for years, _for years_, do you understand?! And then, then you just come back, say it's real and think it's okay or that I'll just welcome you back or something! But, guess what? You're so damn wrong! I'm not forgiving you at once! You left me broken for seven years! Seven long, damned, fucking YEARS! Do you even realise how freaking long time that is? I missed you, I waited for you to come back, I cried for you for seven years! Then I gave up, you were not coming back. But now, suddenly, you just decide to appear back here! Last time I visited here, was when I was six! It was when you and Sirius told me to throw this down to the water! I do remember! It was the last time I was here! I should've known better than this! I should've known not to come back!" She showed him the stone with the initials.

"Dora-"

"Don't you dare call me that!" she kicked his leg. "Besides, I'm not finished! Can you imagine what it was like for me? I came back for the summers, only to cry my eyes out as everything would remind me of you! Everything, do you hear me?!" Tonks was crazy with her anger. "I don't want to be near you! Go away!"

"Tonks, please." Remus' voice was quiet and hoarse as he stood up to face her.

"Please what?" Tonks fought against tears, looking proudly and coldly up at him.

"Please... I'm so sorry."

"I don't care." Tonks' voice trembled.

"You do."

"I don't. I don't care."

"You care so much. I care too. I'm sorry."

"I DON'T CARE! Now go away! I don't give a shit. You should be sorry. You better be. You better regret the last seven fucking years of your miserable life. 'Cause if you don't, I've never met anyone more stupid and idiot than you. And I know you're not. You're not stupid or idiot, Johnny." Her using the old nickname made his heart break. "You're not. Be sorry, be more sorry than you've ever been or will ever be. I don't give a shit." The fierce 18-year-old was really making him crumble. Unbelievable. And he was always called strong. What was it in Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks that made him weak?

"Okay, I go away! If you don't want to be near me, I'll never come back. But just for you to know, forever is a long time. I'll be gone forever, if it's for me to decide!"

"This was bad moment anyway to see! I have enough in my mind without you!"

"Why? What's happened?" For a moment he was concerned enough to remind her of the time he was still Johnny.

"I broke up with Bill after being with him since I was fourteen", Tonks said coldly. "Though I don't see a reason to tell you." Anger boiled up in Remus again. She was cold. To him. She spoke coldly and arrogantly. To him. She didn't want to see him, to talk to him. And all these seven years he missed her and wanted to come back, but didn't know how to do that...

And as he Disapparated, he dropped something. Tonks wasn't sure if it was on purpose or not. It was a piece of parchment. She picked it up, but just put it in her pocket to read later. She was too hurt and heart-broken to read it at the moment.

As she came home her mother was already at the door.

"Where've you been?" she snapped angrily, but the moment she saw her daughter's face she turned worried. "Darling? What's wrong?" she asked softly.

"I saw Remus", Tonks cried. "And I drove him away. Told him I never want to see him again. I'll never see him again. And I broke up with Bill. I have no one!"

"Oh darling", Andromeda sighed, hugging her only child, who was no more a child. Nymphadora was already eighteen. And the age of seventeen wizards and witches turned of age. But she was still a teenager. Teenagers needed someone outside their family who was there for them. Without Sirius, Remus or even Bill, Tonks'd be totally lost.

"Mom... I didn't think! I was so mad at him for not contacting me for seven years that I forgot about caring about him! I'm a terrible, terrible person! He'll be so angry at me! He'll hate me!"

"Dora sweetie, calm down. He's old enough to understand hating is stupid. He's been your age, too. He's been a stupid teenager. Everyone has."

"But I swear he wasn't stupid! He's too smart to have been stupid!" Tonks cried. "He doesn't know what it means to be stupid! He's never been and will never be!"

"He was stupid when he didn't contact you. It hurt you, obviously. And people who are wise when they're older, were stupid when they were young. And people who are stupid when they're older, were most likely spoilt in their youth. Usually. I think he did something stupid in his youth, and is now scared to hurt himself like that again, only to realise he hurts others as well."

"Mom. Don't go all philosophy- blah blah on me. The point is that he is far too perfect!"

"Perfect? Perfect people don't make mistakes. And everyone does. There are no perfect people. He made a mistake and now you suffer because of it."

"I made a mistake too! And now we both suffer because of it!"

Remus sighed and sat down on his bed.

"She's right", he muttered to himself. "She's right. I should never see her again. But, damn", he hit his pillow violently over and over again, "what is it about her that makes me do as she says? She told me to leave and I did so. She told me to never see her again, and damn, i don't think I will..."

**A/N:** Guess what? It would be really nice to get reviews...

Don't be afraid to tell me your honest opinion, but please try to still say it in a way that tells me exactly what I did wrong and how should I make it better. Now(I'm already working on chapter 7) as I look back at these chapters, I see they're very hurried. So you can expect a bit less hurried, but still quite hurried chapters in the future. I'll try to post them faster. And then I'll also try to work on my other fanfics, so if you haven't read them, please give them a chance too? :3 Reviews and reading mean so much to me! :3 And hey, if you have Remus/Tonks stories yourself, you can mention it in your review, I am looking for something to read all the time, it'd be nice to read something that my readers have written! :3


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